Sad

Yes i still cry without thinking,

Yes i still break down without warning

Yes i still feel shattered

M'Agnes when she had just gotten the coveted treat
this will always be one of my favorite pictures

this is also a much loved photo.
the poor dear was being annoyed by a dog in the park
so she was sitting in the tree till it left

I get sad when I hear the crows, I hear bells and miss my little girl, I catch whiffs of scent and remember tidbits.

I am not even sure I can go to the beach and not cry anymore.  That will be a challenge as I have now lost all of my beach cats. I ma try to take Lusitania one day to see how it goes.

I am still trying to find the picture for the tribute colorway for M'Agnes as I think her fans are waiting for me to choose even when I asked of them to please go though the posted pictures. It is just I have so many that they have not seen.  So I guess it will fall to me to pick the picture.  The request seems to be fore a gradience of just M'Agnes nothing of the surroundings so I will skim for the ones that are mainly her.

I have been toying with getting a tattoo. I am thinking of a pawprint on the web of my left thumb where she would place her paw to get my attention.

There is an auction happening in her name to help fund my further rescue kitties and maybe just maybe get a start to help build the sanctuary.

Madelyn has now been spayed and she tested negative for FIV/Felv so i am not as worried about her escaping as she likes to go over the gate to explore the rest of the house.  It is kind of funny watching her chase the other cats to protect her babies. She is so tiny and missing teeth and soooooooo ready to take them all down.

Taika trying to figure out what the clicky box is

Dahlia has been adopted and will be going with her sister Taika to Maryland.  Taika will help Dahlia adjust to her new home. Taika is much more brave and playful. I think Damson has also been adopted by a coworker. We shall see.

Captain Olwen such a trusting little man.
Considering how vicious he tried to be when he was caught 

Captain Olwen will be staying with me and Madelyn.  I always hate it when a mother loses her very very last baby. How do we know she does not miss them? I have seen other feral mom cats get upset hearing a kitten cry and go to soothe it even when it is not theirs and they had been spayed for years.





I hate being sad. I am sitting here it is 1 am I am listening to Lu snore and watching Moira pretend to sleep. And I am just so sad I can barely do anything, I have not been able to knit. I have not read, the movie I could not wait for I probably will not see. I am working with the kittens as they need a lot of socialization. Dahlia and Damson are just so shy but at least Dahlia and Taika are both over 2 lbs and are at a "Safe" spay weight. So next month it will be even better.  Next get the time off and get some time out of California were everything is a trigger.

Picture of the family

 

Captain and Dahlia, 

his eyes are so different. I know he is still very young but thy look vertigris.

Madelyn and Damson,

Mother was getting annoyed at her remaining child. 

Taika

Damsons pretty face

Dahlia

Family in the back room

Over the 4 of July week I caught the mom cat and her babies. Turns out it was 4 not 3 as I first thought.

After work on Tuesday, I set out to have a tiny greeting with everyone.  Mom (Madelyn) came running over to greet me as soon as she saw me.  I picked her up and set her in my car to see what she would do.  She sniffed, she saw a cat bed and very cautiously approached it and ever so lightly rubbed her cheek on it.  When she saw I had finished opening tins -one of which I set down for her- and had picked up a car blanket she followed me to the clearing.

I had set out a trap just in case I would need one and also a carrier. Then I sat there and watched and pet Madelyn as her babies got curious. One was brave enough to come eat from the dish Madelyn was eating from so I would cautiously pet him too. After a bit the others got hungry and started eating the biscuits I had been tossing.  I watched and talked for about an hour and finally needed to go pick up ashes at the E vet in another town.  I let the trap and blanket to let mom know I would be back.

I was not planning on catching any kittens as it was getting late midnight to be precise, I had just come back to pick up the trap and talk a bit more with mom.   I then went to another side of the clearing which was a little more hidden from random people and as I was laying there the little boy came up and I caught him


The first one caught was the little boy whom I have named Captain Olwen.  Oh he was not happy! He cried and started to bite and tried sooooo very hard to be a terror until his mom came to him touched his face and started to groom him.  She watched as I set him in the carrier.  The second was a little black tortishell. When she first showed up I had thought she was a baby skunk because of the mark on her face.

As that was 1 am and I was starting to fall asleep on the hill I told Madelyn I would be back the next day.

The next day was my day off so I showed up around 7.30 and was greeted by Madelyn, she is the sweetest thing and patiently waited for me to set up my picnic area then happily started to eat.  I quickly snapped up the next kitten and had to wait for the last one to get more hungry than scared.  She kept trying to nurse and Madelyn kept running to me whenever the nursing started.
Finally at 8.30 the little Damson was taking the chicken from my hand and I had her.  Madelyn sat beside the carrier as I placed her baby in and then she let me pick her up and place her in as well.

Then a clean up of the site and finding the key I dropped we where on the way home and away from all fireworks.

Abandoned mom

Found a new mom cat where I work with threes fluff ball babies. Need to start trapping again.

A Tribute to M'Agnes

I finally stopped crying so maybe I can get this started now

For those that have followed the life of M'Agnes on Ravelry you already know she is gone.
It is like the heart has gone out of me.  I can only think she followed one of the other cats outside when i got up in the middle of the night and she dashed out to play. I had gotten use to her leaving the room and finding her in the back bird room or in my moms room as she know G'Mom will give fistfuls of treats.

But no she had gone outside and followed one of the ferals across the street and beyond. It was the knock on the door that woke me, and the animal control officer asking for me and hearing a mention of a Siamese cat.  I thought a neighbor had caught her and was complaining and I was to get yet another fine.
I followed him to the truck having a hard time comprehending what he was said while understanding at the same time.

My beautiful little SuperDiva was gone. Her life had been snuff out by a car.  The only mercy would be that it happened fast and she did not suffer.  The little kitten that had been placed in my hands at hours old never having known her own feline mom she became my baby and I watched her around the clock. I worried about her fearing she would not survive the first days, weeks, then months but she was determined to live in spite of the odds.

It surprised me how many fans she had online,  I would laugh that she had more FB friends than I did.  I would tease my mom as she acknowledged her grandkitten M'Agnes before she claimed me as her daughter.
I learned to laugh with her and loved sharing her antics with all of her online aunties.  I never thought she would only be with me barely 3 years. I will never see how dark she was meant to get in all her chocolate glory

 She would let us put silly dresses on her and would show off her pretty dresses. She loved going for walks and would come racing to me if I had disappeared, She would greet me when I got home late and upset me by waiting in the driveway for my car. She would constantly shadow me when I would put food out for the outside kitties.

Good bye my Angel, give my love to Robber, Frankie, Gianni, Isolde, and the rest that are waiting on the other side of the Rainbow bridge.  I will see you all again one day.
I will stop now as my face is leaking again.

I love you so much

Lusitania in Green

Lusitania in Green, a photo by siouxzb on Flickr.