Depression

I am very tired of being depressed.
I know I am not the only one who has bouts of depression and that almost everyone has dealt with some form of it at some point in their lives.  Lately it has been hard, I get tired of things, apathetic to many daily duties.  Exhausted with dealing with the public.  I hate the constant attacks, the irritation of being yelled at for doing your job.
Yes, I am aware of what is going on and I have a handle on it.  You do not need to micro manage me.
In other words if you want to treat me like an idiot I WILL give you an idiot.

I crave going back to the beach it has been far far too long..  Not since I lost M'Agnes.  I think I lost my way when I lost her. Then to lose Lu too.

Madelyn. She moved in and took over. I wonder if her coming
here was what pushed Lusitania into decline.

I have the new crew,  Madelyn and her babies.  that if you are on Ravelry you know about.  I also have Aisha and Joseph now. The little kittens that are almost 4 months old.  I also lost another bottle baby.  he kept rejecting the KMR and what little I got down him would come back out his nose.  I will learn how to tube feed the babies so next time I get one with similar problem I am better able to help.    Little Roo looked so much like M'Agnes when I first got her.  I had hopes such hope he seemed so very strong he just could not keep his milk down.

Aisha

One of Madelyn's babies, Capt. Olwen, I have found myself calling Robber.  He is so much like Robber in temperment and he is painted like M'Ags so it is very hard at times when I see him basking in the garden.. I love him like anything though.

A very serious Joseph

Capt.Olwen, Playing with Aisha and Joseph

Of the kittens Joseph, he reminds me so very strongly of Tristan.  If he was white I would cry.

The Lady Louise Lusitania *RIP*

Today at 3 pm the hour of mercy my Lulu made her journey to the Bridge. 

first picture from her foster family

 Little Lusitania tormenting Valentine

spotting the lovebird she was sitting on

a very large 5 months old kitten

Come in and play

I got her when she was 4 months old as one can see she was mischievous.

She grew to be the most elegant lady cat.

I never expected her to be as accepting as she was to the other cats, she let them all enter her world and as long as they respected her rule they could stay and be mothered.

Bringing home the hours old baby, however was different.

Lusitania took over motherhood as if M'Agnes was her own .

 Maybe it was because she had been a foundling herself.

 Her favorite place to lay was on a cement bridge over a tiny ornamental pond. The thing is older than me

wearing the cowl made from the first M'Agnes colorway

 She started to lose weight and at first I thought it was from depression.  We had just lost Robber and not that long after that M'Agnes left to follow her Rockstar.

Turns out the weight loss was CRF and caught way too late as my girl did not let me know she was sick until it was too much or her to hide anymore.

You will always be my Queen

together again

Lusitania

        I am getting very worried about Lu.  She is losing to much weight and drinking way too much.  she did let me get some kmr into her so that is some nutrition better than just plain water. she is again hiding under the bed.  She makes a trip to the fountain,drinks sometimes cries.  Dr. D suspects diabetes.  and right now i cannot afford a senior blood panel as some subhuman hacked my bank account.        

candle powered heater

OK, I saw this on Facebook and searched You Tube for opinions. http://youtu.be/eyRzcwGbvwE
I have been using this or about a month now and it has been working.
They are as stated only a radiant heat.  I wanted to laugh at the guy who thought it would keep his greenhouse warm.  Really???
I found that if I add oil to the candles they burn longer.

 Best thing is the cats have not messed with it.

here is how I have mine set up.

I have the candles and oil in a terracotta saucer on a low stand. (before when it was on the ground it glued itself to the tile floor.)
on the saucer I have rods/dowels/sticks whatever you want to call them to create an air flow space for the candles to get oxygen. there was some trial and error to find the right size.
set the smaller pot over the candles with something to block the water hole in the pot. I am using a flat rock I found.  over this is the second pot.

and on this i set a small tea pot.  two functions warm tea and humidity.

I have found that if I soak the outer pot in a  pot o water it will produce humidity through the night.

calendar

 i will have to edit this when i get to the coffee shop as this droid sux.i have completed my current caledar and it is ready for the printer.   i cannot get this stupid phone to interface with the blog very well but maybe it is the blog that is the issue. t

I am sitting in a coffee shop as I am not sure if I want to maintain home internet.

 At the coffee shop I can get online for free. It is slow, guess I can knit while waiting for things to load.
At home it would be around $80 a month.
I do not do that much online other than go on Ravelry, see what is posted on YouTube, check FB and watch a very few TV shows.
So $80 will get me maybe 8 hours of TV.  Somehow this does not resonate as being worth it.   Especially as I can catch them at the coffee shop while sitting in my car so as not to disturb others there.

The only real thing I use the computer for is calendars.   So I am sitting in the coffee shop uploading pictures to CostcoPhotocenter.com so I can work on the calendar.  I am missing my little Diva, it will be sad that this will be the last time she will be in a calendar as April will be  her tribute month. It still hurts that I only had her 3 short years.

My vacation was good, I saw some states that I have not been to in a very long time if ever.  I got to meet some of my Raverly friends which was fantastic.  Meeting new kitties and a few pups was fun.

I have followed on FB the travels of Taika and Dahlia. I will miss them but I am glad knowing they will be loved.

















Taika, such a adventurous girl. Take good care of Dahlia sweetie.

Contemplation of a tattoo

I have been thinking about getting a tattoo in memory to The cats I have lost. 
M'Agnes learned a trick to get treat was to press on my hand as if it were a lever.  She then started to use this to get my attention. If I was on the computer she would press on my hand and look deep into my eyes.  It always brought a smile.

I also would like a bracelet of forget me not blossoms maybe entwined with cherry blossoms.