Sad

Yes i still cry without thinking,

Yes i still break down without warning

Yes i still feel shattered

M'Agnes when she had just gotten the coveted treat
this will always be one of my favorite pictures

this is also a much loved photo.
the poor dear was being annoyed by a dog in the park
so she was sitting in the tree till it left

I get sad when I hear the crows, I hear bells and miss my little girl, I catch whiffs of scent and remember tidbits.

I am not even sure I can go to the beach and not cry anymore.  That will be a challenge as I have now lost all of my beach cats. I ma try to take Lusitania one day to see how it goes.

I am still trying to find the picture for the tribute colorway for M'Agnes as I think her fans are waiting for me to choose even when I asked of them to please go though the posted pictures. It is just I have so many that they have not seen.  So I guess it will fall to me to pick the picture.  The request seems to be fore a gradience of just M'Agnes nothing of the surroundings so I will skim for the ones that are mainly her.

I have been toying with getting a tattoo. I am thinking of a pawprint on the web of my left thumb where she would place her paw to get my attention.

There is an auction happening in her name to help fund my further rescue kitties and maybe just maybe get a start to help build the sanctuary.

Madelyn has now been spayed and she tested negative for FIV/Felv so i am not as worried about her escaping as she likes to go over the gate to explore the rest of the house.  It is kind of funny watching her chase the other cats to protect her babies. She is so tiny and missing teeth and soooooooo ready to take them all down.

Taika trying to figure out what the clicky box is

Dahlia has been adopted and will be going with her sister Taika to Maryland.  Taika will help Dahlia adjust to her new home. Taika is much more brave and playful. I think Damson has also been adopted by a coworker. We shall see.

Captain Olwen such a trusting little man.
Considering how vicious he tried to be when he was caught 

Captain Olwen will be staying with me and Madelyn.  I always hate it when a mother loses her very very last baby. How do we know she does not miss them? I have seen other feral mom cats get upset hearing a kitten cry and go to soothe it even when it is not theirs and they had been spayed for years.





I hate being sad. I am sitting here it is 1 am I am listening to Lu snore and watching Moira pretend to sleep. And I am just so sad I can barely do anything, I have not been able to knit. I have not read, the movie I could not wait for I probably will not see. I am working with the kittens as they need a lot of socialization. Dahlia and Damson are just so shy but at least Dahlia and Taika are both over 2 lbs and are at a "Safe" spay weight. So next month it will be even better.  Next get the time off and get some time out of California were everything is a trigger.